


The Cold

by Vultyre



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Cal Kestis Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Merrin is a Good Friend, My Best Friend is a Witch, PTSD, Post-Game, magick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vultyre/pseuds/Vultyre
Summary: POST-GAME SPOILERSCal and Crew barely escape Nur with their lives, and afterwards Cal is haunted by dreams of that day. The wound that Vader gave him hasn’t fully healed, and Cal can’t seem to escape the feeling of dread that emanated from the Dark Lord of the Sith.Cal needs his friends to help him as he tries to recover, and who better to help than the Mantis’ resident Witch?
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 156





	The Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first of all, thanks for checking this story out. I’m a new writer and I’d love constructive feedback on what I’ve written so far. This was originally gonna be a one shot, but as I was writing I realized that I needed at least two chapters to get this idea done. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_ Heavy footsteps on cold metal echoed through the chamber. Cal felt the overwhelming weight, so heavy and dark and cold that it clouded his vision. This was no type of Force he had felt before, this was magnitudes more powerful, a force of nature. Cal saw it on Trilla’s face as well. She knew what was coming, she had felt it before. She had faced this force and crumbled, reshaped by it into what she became. This kind of power changes you, molds you to it’s will, refuses to be challenged._

_ Even though Cal knew not who was approaching, he had felt the echoes of it only once before. When his master died, and the galaxy was tilted on its head, the feeling Cal had felt of despair, pain, suffering, and death, that was what approached them in the inquisitor torture chamber. Then Cal saw him, towering over them like a predator above unknowing prey._

_ Then, in an instant, before Cal could even process what was happening, Trilla lied dead on the ground, and Cere was being thrown into the pit. Everything was now over, all their hard work and sacrifices amounted to nothing._

_ This was inevitability, this was the thing that Trilla spoke of. The power of the Dark Side._

_ “You would be wise to surrender.”_

_ Cal realized, in that moment, why Trilla had fallen, why the Jedi had failed. This creature was not human, or like any other race of people. This creature was the embodiment of darkness, an impossible wave of evil that washed all around it in pain. Cal’s vision in the cave, burned into his mind like a dark brand, echoed warnings through his mind. This force would turn even Cal to the dark. And there was nothing he could do about it._

_ “Yeah. Probably.”_

_ Had he not faced Taron Malicos before, and learned the lesson that the ghost of his master wanted to impart upon him, he would have surely crumbled then and there. The overwhelming weight leads to a singular conclusion, it forces one down a path. To face it and live one must take their passion, their pain, their rage and use it against the creature. But that is exactly what the creature wants._

_ Cal could feel the Dark Side calling him. Not loudly or angrily, but sweetly and kind. It seemed so... tempting, in that moment._

_ Cal rushed Vader with his saber drawn, knowing full well he would likely die in ensuing battle. Vader just stood there, waiting, blocking Cal’s saber effortlessly before pulling Cal toward him in a Force chokehold. Cal felt helpless, defeated. He thrashed around and pushed, pulled, seized, and clawed his way to freedom with no success. It felt like the Force betrayed him in that moment, abandoning him to his fate._

_ Cal pulled a massive piece of machinery from the ceiling down upon Vader, but again he was bested by this Dark Lord of the Sith._

_ Cal ran, he ran and ran and jumped and slid and ran. He tried to run and hide but he couldn’t escape. He couldn’t escape the creature, the darkness._

_ He couldn’t escape._

_ HE CAN’T ESCAPE!  _

“NO!”

Cal yelled out in pain as he awoke aboard the Mantis. He sits up in alarm, only to immediately fall back down onto the bed, clutching his side in pain. The lightsaber wound that Vader gave him still hadn’t healed all the way, and moving his torso at all sometimes caused Cal immense pain.

After a few moments of deep breathing, Cal placed an arm over his eyes and sighed shakily. It wasn’t the first time he’d had that nightmare. It was always a little bit different, but... Vader was always there. And even though they had all managed to escape Nur alive, he still had the feeling that they were being hunted. Once you see that kind of power, you tend to get a little bit paranoid.

“Beep boop bweeeeep!”

BD-1, Cal’s ever present droid companion, noticed Cal was awake and hopped up onto the bed next to him. BD-1’s little head tilted slightly to the side as it noticed Cal clutching his wound.

“No BD, I’m fine, no need to get Cere. It’s just... a bad dream, alright? Nothing to worry about.”

BD-1 nodded slightly and took a few little steps toward Cal, looking up and down his body, making sure he was okay. Cal smiled and brought up his hand to pat BD’s head lightly.

“Beep, twoooooo.” BD-1 chirped questioningly at Cal at a lower tone than before.

“Yeah, buddy, same bad dream as last time.”

“Bwoop beep.”

“I know, I know I should ask Cere to help. She’s probably got some old Jedi wisdom that could help me sleep better.”

“Trrrrrrr beep bwoo.”

“Well... I don’t know. My Master Jaro Tapal always said that dreams where you can feel the Force speak to you are very important. It feels like the Dark Side is calling to me. Just like when we were in the vault, when I had that vision, you remember?”

“Dwoop beeeeeee.”

“Yeah. Right before Trilla showed up.” Cal sighed as he remembered their penultimate encounter. “If only I’d beaten her then, maybe... maybe we could have saved her.”  


BD-1 went silent for a moment, just looking at Cal. After a few seconds, the little droid put out one of his mechanical legs and lightly patted Cal’s leg.

The sound of soft footsteps reached Cal’s ears and he turned his head towards the passage that leads to the rest of the ship just in time to see Nightsister Merrin approaching his cabin cautiously. Upon making eye contact, Merrin cleared her throat and spoke.

“Greetings Cal. I heard some loud noises from your cabin, and was unsure if you desired to be alone or needed help.”

Cal sat up in his cot slowly, minding his injury and scooped BD-1 into his lap. 

“I’m fine Merrin, thanks for checking. I don’t need any help, but I wouldn’t mind some company.” 

In the two weeks since they escaped Nur and destroyed the Holocron, Cal and Merrin has become fast friends. They related on a lot of things, despite being nearly polar opposites when it came to their upbringing. They had both lost a lot, and they shared a common enemy. In the dark times of the Empire, that’s enough to make lifelong friends out of former enemies. 

Merrin smiled slightly and nodded, moving over to Cal’s cot and sitting next to him. Immediately as she sat down, BD-1 wriggled from Cal’s grasp and hopped over to Merrin’s lap, eliciting a light chuckle from Cal. BD-1 took a few testing steps on her robe before sitting down and chirping contentedly. Merrin, not knowing where to put her hands, decided to just rest them on BD-1’s head, which the droid seemed to enjoy. 

“BD likes you.”

Merrin nodded slightly. Though Merrin rarely showed much emotion, Cal had noticed her chuckling at BD-1’s antics before, even if she thought no one was watching. 

Merrin looked over at Cal, noticing his posture and his hand lightly massaging the wound at his side. 

“Does... does it still hurt? Have you not used one of those healing devices on it?”

Cal’s head lowered slightly, feeling the cold pain radiate from the left side of his chest.

“I used a healing stim as soon as I could. It healed quickly, like all the lightsaber cuts I’ve had but... for some reason it still aches. Sometimes it feels cold and numb, sometimes I feel spikes of pain. I thought a couple days of rest would alleviate it.”

Merrin put a hand gently on Cal’s shoulder, before leaning a little closer to Cal.

“Can... can I see it?”

Cal’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed slightly, not prepared for such a request.

“Umm I mean, I guess that’s fine, umm unless you-“

“I used to heal my fellow Sisters before... well, I’m experienced in healing, but if it would make you uncomfortable...”

“No, no it’s fine. Here just....”

Cal was only wearing his regular pants and a loose grey undershirt, so it was easy for him to lift it high enough up his chest for Merrin to see the wound. Merrin’s eyes widened as she laid eyes on his torso. He was covered in scars, most of them clearly blaster burns, and there were several lightsaber wounds, as well as other various cuts and bruises.

Merrin noticed several scars that she recognized as the claw marks of the zombie Nightsisters that she set upon Cal before they were allied.

“Cal, I am sorry about-“

“Merrin, don’t worry about it. All that stuff is in the past. I forgave you when you helped me take down Malicos, so just forget about it.”

Merrin nodded before looking back at his exposed torso.

One scar stood out among the others, being a perfectly circular burn mark around the healed skin of the wound Vader gave him with his own lightsaber. Upon seeing it, Merrin felt a chill through the Force, as if a cold wind blew across every inch of her skin.

Merrin gazed at the scar for a few more moments before reaching out a hand to gently feel the mark. It was cold to the touch.

“I have never seen a wound like this before. Even... my Sisters who were killed by a powerful Sith did not bear such a malignancy. It is as if there is an echo of that moment still embedded within you.”

“An echo....” Cal tilted his head in thought. He wasn’t sure it was possible for a Force Echo to form inside a living creature, but there was much he did not know about the Force.

Merrin pulled back and put her hands back on BD-1’s head.

“If you would like, I could attempt healing magick. At the very least, it might ease the pain.”

Cal lowered his shirt back down and smoothed it out before looking at Merrin. He clearly had trepidation written all over his face at the idea of her using her Dark Side magick on him.

“Are you sure that that’s safe? Your magick comes from the Dark Side, right? Isn’t there a chance that might hurt me?” 

Merrin turned her head, looking straight at the opposite wall.

“Yes, it is true that our power comes from the Dark Side. But it is not so simple as to say that we are the same as the Sith who abuse the Dark Side and become addicted to it.” Merrin then lifted her hands and from them the telltale green energy of Magick began to emerge. She began to twist and move her hands, and the energy began to flow through the air like a stream, which she was guiding. Cal could see all sorts of shapes and symbols in the cloud of energy before it flowed into something new. Merrin continued to speak.

“Dathomir teems with Dark energy, so much so that it is impossible to escape its influence. But unlike the Sith, unlike Malicos who only sought that energy to gain power, we were gifted it by the planet itself. We have bathed and seeped in that energy our entire lives, and as such we have become immune to its corruption. The Jedi and the Sith see the Force as a binary, as two warring sides, when in fact it is just shades of grey. Passion, anger, hate, they all have their place in life, as long as they are not abused. We give the Force our devotion, and in turn it gives us the power to shape the galaxy.”

Merrin dissipated the energies and lowered her hands. She then looked back over at Cal with a smile. “So I can assure you, that I will bring you no pain. I trust in the Force, and I ask you to trust in me.”

The words of Cal’s former Master echoed in his head. ‘Trust only in the Force.’ Cal could feel the truth in her words, even if it went somewhat counter to what he was taught as a Jedi. Cal put his hands on his thighs and tilted his head in thought before looking back at Merrin and answering her.

“Alright. I trust you.”

Merrin smiled and placed one of her hands over his, clasping it and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“Good. Let us begin. Take off your shirt.” 


End file.
